Every dancer’s Feis Checklist should contain personalized First-Aid items that he or she may require and let me tell you, I’ve seen some Dancer First-Aid kits with enough supplies to handle virtually every ailment and injury to include performing emergency appendectomies on-stage.
An instant cold pack and compression wrap are absolute necessities when it comes to treating the “thousand natural shocks that Feis is heir to” along with Duct Tape. Don’t ask me why, but everyone seems to need Duct Tape. It must be good for covering botched appendectomy scars.
But what about the Feis Moms?
Although not physically competing, there are a variety of stresses, strains, and minor emergencies that Feis Moms face at the Feis that necessitate creating your own “Emergency Feis-Aid Kit.”
Like the Dancer’s First-Aid Kit, the recipe for a Feis Mom’s Feis-Aid kit is very personalized but should typically include the following ingredients.
Chocolate: Any gal will tell you that chocolate soothes the soul and should be a primary item of every Emergency Feis-Aid Kit. There are two basic types of chocolate that you should pack; dark chocolate and liquid chocolate, the latter being the preferred method of delivery when immediate relief is required.
Corkscrew: Whether celebrating or commiserating, you’ll eventually need a corkscrew. Corkscrews come in many shapes and sizes, but I’d recommend the type that also has a bottle cap opener on one end as this extra functionality is extremely helpful when, after five minutes of shredding the palm of his hand, Feis Dad finally admits that bottles of Guinness Stout don’t come in twist-off caps.
Look! Up in the air! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a cell phone?
Sometimes you need to go the extra distance and require a little more help than chocolate can provide. Whether you’re trying to be discreet or simply want to avoid sharing your own unique “medicinal compound” with others, there is nothing like the Cell-Phone Flask. Most efficacious in every case.
Your daughter is up next and the judge is nodding off again? You can hardly blame them as, unlike you, they have to sit through hundreds of dancers, one after another, watching an endless stream of competitors which can have lulling effect. A quick blast of the “Adjudicator Wake-up Alarm” will rectify this immediately.
Nine hundred girls competing and your daughter’s trip to the restroom is taking much longer than expected when they call for her competition on stage three. You need a delaying tactic to give your daughter extra time to report. What better way than the tried and true “Fake Dog Poop” ploy. The stage manager and competitors are aghast as they send for someone to rectify the situation giving your daughter those few precious minutes needed.
Your daughter switched schools six months ago and you and the previous TCRG still aren’t exactly on speaking terms? The best way I’ve found to avoid confrontation is to travel incognito and what better way to put the “cog” in “nito” than a simple disguise.
One of the most important attributes of a Feis Mom is a sense of humor. For those folks that are somewhat reticent in their communication style, there is nothing better than an instant “ice-breaker” to achieve the desired level of craic. Rubber chickens and whoopee cushions lighten up the situation, but I personally prefer the tried and true can of “Spotted Dick”. Trust me, it’s an instant conversation starter and you’re sure to come up with your own unique introduction as you pull it from your Feis-Aid Kit.
There are many other items that show up in “Feis-Aid Kits”, your imagination being the only limitation.