In what appears to be the first concrete, tangible evidence of the existence of a previously undocumented species, a local amateur photographer has managed to capture on camera images of a small, yet extremely hirsute mammal, that the local townsfolk have affectionately named “Gertie”.
There have been a multitude of sightings here during the last two months with witnesses often describing the small fuzzy mammal as looking like a “curly haired guinea pig” resulting in the nickname, “Gertie the Guinea pig”. Several townsfolk even claimed it look more like a “Tribble”, those extremely reproductive fuzz balls of Star Trek fame.
Gertie appears to survive on a diet of bird seed and suet and has been frequently seen sitting and casually snacking out of birdfeeders throughout town. “We don’t mind her much”, said one witness, “she’s actually kind of cute, doesn’t eat that much, and the birds even seem to enjoy having her around.”
Gertie is patiently waiting her turn at the feeder in the above photo.
Scientists, many of whom were somewhat skeptical of Gertie’s existence in the first place, have carefully scrutinized the photos and assert their authenticity. What perplexes them most is that Gertie appears to prefer a bipedal form of locomotion previously only witnessed in upper primates.
Attempts have been made to capture “Gertie” in order to more fully examine her. Scientists are hoping to outfit her with a radio collar so they can release her and track her movements and habits but to no avail. “We tried every type of bird and small mammal food and enticement in our traps but without any luck,” said Brad Bullard of University of Picayune. As a joke, one of the scientist’s daughters even set out a trap with a hair brush and tiara. The following morning the trap was sprung and the tiara had disappeared but there were no signs of “Gertie”
At the local diner, many townspeople aren’t quite sure what to make of all the fuss but are concerned about the publicity the town has received. Several news crews with satellite media trucks in front of the diner seem to confirm their fears.
“We just want to go back to the way life has always was”, said one local citizen who wished to be unnamed, “Gertie is something special for us and we’re afraid that someone might come here and take her away”, adding, “folks should just go away and leave us and Gertie alone.”
