Dear ZandB
I desperately need your help!
Six months ago my daughter switched dance schools for reasons I do not want to address here. Now, six months later, we have seen the error of our ways and she is switching back to her original TCRG. She already served the original “six month restyling period” and we just found out she will have to go through yet another “six month restyling period”. My daughter is going crazy because, well frankly, she needs a Feis hit…bad. At first I thought she had it under control but this morning when I was cleaning out her room, I found (I’m almost too embarrassed to say this) a cheerleading magazine! Is there any way to help get my daughter back in to Feis mode? I don’t think she’ll survive another six months so I’ll try anything!
Distraught Feis Mom.
Dear Distraught Feis Mom,
Your daughter is not the first nor will be the last dancer to face this situation. In a effort to protect dancers from the ravages of “The Double Whammy” as it is now called, a secretive group of compassionate Feis Moms, TCRGs and Tanning Salon owners collectively referred to as members of “The Rince Code”, have banded together to create the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Under the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” your daughter will be given a complete new “Irish Dance” identity which will allow her to compete, in a discreet manner, at select out-of-town Feiseanna. She will be given a new dance dress, appropriate to her grade, wig, facial make over, freckle implants and registration credentials for eFeis and Feisworx which include the name of fictitious dance school and TCRG.
Transportation to and from the Feis will be provided along with the services of a highly trained and qualified surrogate Feis Mom who will assist your daughter in whatever manner required while still maintaining the “veil of secrecy” required of members participating in the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Your daughter will continue to maintain her current daily routine with her friends, school and family, only assuming her “secret identity” on “Feis Day”.
Neither her current or previous TCRGs will be made aware of this situation and your daughter will be free to “Feis as she pleases” during this trying six month period.
Regrettably, because of the secretive nature of this program, no public acknowledgement will be made of any of her competition results and, as such, the dancer will not be able to advance to the next higher grade or participate in major championships as a result of her placements while a member of the program.
The “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” has enjoyed an incredible one hundred percent success rate in creating a safe haven for over seventy five dancers like your daughter. A member of “The Rince Code” will be contacting you shortly.
ZandB
